... and never fully objective

When I chose the title for the relaunch of this blog, I had just come out of a pretty amazing, yet challenging, year of postgraduate studies. I remember being annoyed with the constant focus on carthesian rationality, academic rigour, scientific method. That's why the motto for this blog is so emotionally charged.

Nevertheless, I have always assumed that mine was "an opinion that is predominantly emotionally charged, changing from one day to the next, and never ever fully objective". It didn't quite fit into this world of charged academic debate, where opinions had to be backed by a logic that assumed a mechanistic, deconstructive metaphor as solely legitimate. I regard mechanistic, linear, logic as imperfect and ultimately boring. There is so much more worth understanding within those areas of human existence that aren't visibly causal, visibly logical and ranked and filed, like the idiot philosophers that invented those epistemologies.
Epistemologies are necessarily normative and therefore can be used to limit man to certain areas of existence, while being oblivious to - yay actively deriding - those interesting phenomena of life that do not fit its primary query of "what constitutes knowledge". The whole of science, and academia in consequence, is biased. To prioritise scientific method over non-scientific belief is to cast out devils through Beelzebub, chief of the devils. Both are biased. One just pretends not to be.

I am me - and my beliefs precondition me. I cannot ever fully escape into the "Disneyland of Rationality". It would defy my humanity, if I tried to do so.

Unzulaessige Vereinfachungen

Also, ich finde gerade alles in UK voellig Scheisse. Ne?

Das morgentliche Aufstehen, zum Beispiel, finde ich abartig. Wer macht denn sowas? Morgens frueh aus den Federn, anstatt nachmittags oder abends. England ist halt Scheisse.

Dann der Stress bei der Arbeit. Damit kommt man garnicht zurecht. Woanders gibt's keinen Stress... und wo's Stress doch gibt, da gibt's wenigstens keine Arbeit - weshalb sich dieses Problem dann dort auch gar nicht stellt.

Dann: Menschen. Die sind hier ueberall auf dieser Insel. Ich erinnere mich, das es woanders keine Menschen gab. Oder weniger. Zumindest keine, die mir auffielen. Hier fallen mir die Menschen alle auf. Die sind halt auffallend. Mag ich nicht sowas. Ich falle nicht auf, dann sollen's die anderen auch nicht. Die wollen doch alle nur gesehen werden. Nein. Sowas mag ich wirklich nicht.

Dann das Wasser. Das gibt's nur in heiss und kalt. Auf der Insel, hier, gibt's nur diese zwei diskreten Zustaende. Woanders ist alles lauwarm. Lauwarm ist besser.

Dann das Wetter. In England ist es immer kalt, wenn ich's gerne warm haette. Und vieeel zu warm, wenn mir gerade nach etwas erfrischender Kuehle waere. Und regnen tut es auch gerade dann, wenn ich das nicht will. Ich finde sowas fies. Die Meteorologen in diesem Land sind einfach unfaehig...

... oder sie moegen mich nicht.

Pah! Dann mag ich sie auch nicht. Baeh.

The One

As you undoubtedly are aware, today is a nodal point in this path through the big probability tree that we call 'history'.

Whichever way things go from here, today the road forked - and at least from today's perspective (and as far as we can see forward from here) we took the right path. Whether our current bouts of euphoria are the avantgarde of bigger improvements to come, nobody at this point can tell.

As good as it gets

A great many things have happened over the last two years. As always in life, they’ve kept the balance, somewhere between bliss and near-catastrophe.

And while circumstances change, I feel that something has solidified – petrified - in my psyche. I had hoped, years ago, that, as I gained more and more experience with life, this would entail some inner peace, calm and content developing at my very core. Unfortunately, I find that what’s solidified within me is a certain kind of cynicism. This is not the stability I had wished for.

Nevertheless - it’s stability. In working life, in the daily routine. I have come to settle. I would prefer to be more at peace with myself, have a hightened sense of life, take more satisfaction from it – but for the time being this is as good, as it gets.


This blog will see more of me.